Do you ever experience those moments when you think to yourself "why am I doing this?" The specific moment I'm talking about usually follows those moments that you're not enjoying in life. This is either because someone else wanted you to do it or you thought you wanted to do it but turns out it wasn't what you wanted. Also sometimes referred to as the "what the fuck am I DOING!?" moment. Well these moments are usually brought to you because you're doing something that is taking you further away from happiness and you've finally hit the wall of "fuck this shit."
I've said it before and I'll say it again, happiness is a choice...but. Yes, there's a "but" when it comes to choosing happiness. That "but" is followed by the most crucial of steps which is, you have to ACTUALLY choose it!
I've been going through a lot recently with all my travel and it's reminded me that I haven't necessarily been choosing happiness as of recently. I've been letting myself get put into situations that I know take me further away from happiness but because I felt obligated I thought that the positive was outweighing the negative. I took some time to sit down and be with myself and I remembered a few things I had forgotten along the road...
|On the Top of the Rock - New York City|
1) Acknowledge Your Own Power
First you have to remember that you alone have the power the choose your own happiness. It's not something that's just going to appear magically from outside of you, it's a conscious decision. Yes, outside factors may help cultivate those feelings from within you but you are the one who decided that those things make you feel that way. One of the most simple things you can do to help this step is to stop letting silly, mundane events upset you. Anger is the opposite of happiness. From now on if you choose to let go of those silly things that you cannot control you would already be one step closer to happiness. Perspective is a beautiful thing, and so is acknowledging your own power to choose.
2) Focus on the Good
Right now there is a million people talking and being loud on the street which can be very distracting. I use to be the person who would get mad, frustrated and want to yell at them to "shut up," but I've realized that I have no control over others. What I do have control over is myself. Using that control I can easily put in some ear plugs or chose to focus on the fact that I'm in New York City and I've dreamt of this my whole life. Those people out on the street were part of my dream because they're part of New York, now how can I be mad about the fact that my dream has come true? Give yourself the chance to slow down and focus on the good things. I promise that you won't lose out on anything if you just turn your focus away from the bad and towards the good. You won't believe the amazing things that are happening over here. Choose your focus.
3) Make Better Choices
Stop beating yourself up over the things you can't change and making yourself feel guilty about them. If it doesn't bring you somewhat closer to happiness, then don't do it. The trick is that you have to find the true happiness in the situation that you are moving towards. Let's say that you want to lose weight but working out doesn't bring you happiness and eating that cupcake will. Well, this would be true yes, but when you sit and really think about it it's a lie. If you choose not to work out and eat that cupcake instead it will seem like for an instant you are happy but then it will fade. However, had you chosen to work out instead it seemingly took you further away from immediate happiness but if you stick with it you would find that it actually is taking you closer. This is because it's a deeper happiness, one that goes beyond the physical and immediate and into the soul. You find that the healthier you get the better you feel, the more energy you have, people look at you differently - not because of your physical look but because of the energy radiating outwards from within. This is the true happiness you're looking for, this is the true happiness you need to think about when you're making better choices.
4) Get to Know Yourself
Seriously, get to know yourself! I know so many people who are absolutely petrified of this. Most people walking around have no idea what it is that will make them genuinely happy because they have no idea who they really are. They haven't taken the time to sit in a park, alone, without music and just think. Ask yourself what you like, what makes you happy, what do you really want from life? Don't think about what other people expect from you or where you currently are, let your mind run free. Allow yourself to dream and go outside the box. How do you ever expect to be truly happy if you just keep running through life without given it a thought. Sit down, grab a tea or coffee, turn everything off around you and just breathe. It's ok, I know it can be scary but I promise, once you get the hang of it you will wonder why you didn't start years ago.
5) Live Your Life
Now that you know the steps to getting here, live the life you want. Drop everyone elses expectations and feelings. I know it sounds harsh but when you come to realize that everyone is in charge of their own feelings and have control over them then you will realize it's not your job to protect them. It's your job to be a leader and show them how they too can live the most amazing lives and how they too can choose happiness if they want. You didn't come here to get by, you came here to flourish, explore and enjoy life, so start acting like it.
Share the Love...
Out of the 5 steps what's the most important to you? What would you add in about finding happiness? Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts with me, I love to hear them!